How To Have A Calm House When He Comes Home

Posted on Posted in Marriage

A calm house?  Yeah, right.

I can hear it now.  We all want a calm house all the time, right?

If we have a child (or multiple children), then we know this is not always possible.

I get that.  The key here is to make it calm when he comes home.  And there are some tricks to help you with this.

Prepare The Children

First, if you know that your husband will walk in the door at 5:00, then make it a point at 4:45 to gather the children and explain to them that Daddy will be here shortly, and we all need to calm down.  (Set a timer if you need to!)  You may even need to remind them not to run and jump on him if he gets overwhelmed easily.

I have had to remind my children, wait until after your showers, and then one by one you may take Daddy your school work from today and show it to him.  This gives the Farmer time to unwind and get out of “work” mode and back into “family” mode.

You could also try distracting your children with something to keep them quiet. This could be quiet reading or art time.

Adjust The Noise Level

No kids yet?  Some men don’t like quiet.  If he likes background noise, keep an old classic, the news, or gentle music in the background.

Don’t go for an exciting movie that will distract him.

Have A Dinner Plan

Always have a  dinner plan–even if it’s not time for dinner.

There have been nights when my Farmer has come home exhausted, (and likely hungry) and looked around the kitchen before politely asking what’s for dinner. I, in the business of the day, hadn’t gotten that far yet, and said, “I don’t know.  Is there something in particular you want?”

Even though he has never said it (and denied even thinking it), my paranoid woman’s brain interprets the blank expression staring right back at me to be thinking, “You’ve been here all day.  What have you been doing?”

I feel awful when this happens.

I have learned, through my own convictions, to always have a plan when he’s at work.

Even if it’s not done or even prepared when he gets home, it’s more relaxing for him to know I’ve got it covered.

Don’t “Start Something”

Absolutely, positively no fighting, arguing, subtle negative innuendos, or anything of the sort when he walks in the door.  None.

Your husband doesn’t need to ever be worried about being attacked in any way when he comes home at night.  He should never be afraid to walk in his own home.

Just one time of coming at him with, “Guess what your mother said to me today?” before his shoes are even off, is going to make him anxious the next time he steps in the door.

A habit of reminding him all the things he forgot or the things you need him to do each time he walks in the door, will over time presuppose him to anxiety each and every time he walks in the door in the future.

When it's time for him to come, does he dread the chaos? It doesn't have to be that way. Some ways a Proverb 31 woman can bring peace to her house when it's time for her husband to come home.

By getting your house to calm down by the time he walks in the door, you can set up a quiet and peaceful haven that your husband will enjoy, and even look forward to coming home to at the end of the day.

Don’t we all want our husbands to want to come home to us?


9 thoughts on “How To Have A Calm House When He Comes Home

  1. Thank you for this post! So many things that I wish I knew almost 9 years ago this June 🙂 But I am a work in progress, grace! This is a GREAT post. I have done all of the no-no too many times. I am going to be determined to work on this. The Lord has really set this on my heart and then I saw your post. By the way, I wanted to say there is something about your site. Every time I come on I feel peaceful. I have been wanting to lower my wife/women sites to just maybe one or two. And yours will stay apart of my subscriptions. I always learn something!

    Thank you


    1. Oh, Kay, I have done the no-no’s so many times myself. He’s still working on me too 😉 .
      I appreciate your kind words more than you know. When I write, I consider you all my friends and try my hardest to weed out lies and encourage you in truths. I don’t believe there is anything I can teach anyone that isn’t already in God’s Word–all I can do is encourage you all in what you already know.
      You are special to me Kay.

  2. Thanks for bringing my concern for a positive change in my life to looking for the solution in myself and not trying to change my husband. I realize after reading this that if i change the way i treat him, the way he treats me will change… I’ll try it!!

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